The Empty Room Read online

  as I poured the last of our snake bite jug into both of our glasses.

  We sat there staring at each other, taking that last sip, and started laughing.

  “This is tougher than I thought it would have ever been.”

  “Good,” Karen said. “Are you ready to head off?”

  “Yeah,” I replied, smiling still feeling a little awkward. At least I knew she wasn’t ready to see the last of me yet.

  “So, let’s go,” Karen declared.

  I always liked how she always cut to the chase.

  We walked over towards the bus stop just outside The Walk-about only to see a black cab coming towards us and Karen decided to wave it down.

  “This way will be quicker, I can’t see a bus,” Karen said.

  “Yeah, sounds good to me. Let’s go,” I agreed.

  As we both hopped in and Karen let the guy know where we were going, I couldn’t help but start to laugh.

  “What are you laughing at?” Karen asked.

  “This. It shouldn’t be this hard,” I said again.

  “Yeah, well let’s go grab a drink and I’m sure it’ll be easy-as after,” Karen joked, smiling trailing out some Kiwi slang.

  “Yeah, too easy,” I replied, as we both started laughing.

  Luckily, the bar wasn’t that far away, possibly a little too far to walk, yet now that we were there it made sense to get the cab when we saw it.

  Stepping out, I stretched a little as Karen poked me in the side.

  “Come on, let’s get in there and order a meat-lovers’ pizza, with a couple of beers,” Karen insisted, smiling away.

  “Yeah, that sounds good.”

  We headed in and I quickly went up to the bar as Karen went to the ladie’s room. Then we met back up at a free table.

  “Hey, I’ve ordered everything,” I let her know as I sat down at the table, and handed her a beer,

  “Oh nice, so,” Karen said, before I cut in.

  “Ha, I was gonna say that, so, how was Scotland?” I asked.

  “Yeah good, still not sure what Georgia’s up to, but she was saying she might go on a tour around Ireland,” Karen said.

  “Oh nice. So, what did you tell them about us finally meeting?” I asked, fully aware of the reasons, and understanding why, Karen never spoke of me.

  “Um, nothing. You know I don’t really mention you to my family,” Karen declared.

  “Well, we’re here now and if I do meet them, I’m sure we can have some fun with them,” I replied.

  “No, that would be a bit mean,” Karen said, with a grin on her face processing just how much fun we could have with it all.

  I started laughing as we sat there enjoying the frequent sips from our drinks and smiling and looking at each other.

  We sat there for ages, the pizza was awesome, and the beer was good. At last count, we polished off a few more jugs than we probably should have, but we had a fun time.

  It wasn’t till the next morning when I woke up in Karen’s bed that I remembered asking her how her health was.

  “Hey Karen, how do you feel these days?” I asked.

  Karen sank further into me as I laid on my side.

  “I’ll be fine,” Karen replied. “Got an appointment next week, if you want to see for yourself,” she suggested.

  “Oh really, is that okay?” I asked back.

  Karen was a little surprised, she rolled over and looked right at me.

  “I think it might be a good idea for you to know,” Karen said, trying hard not to yawn, but at the same time trying to smile.

  I could only laugh into her pillow when she sneezed at me.

  “Oh, sorry Phil,” Karen whispered.

  As we could hear someone out in the hallway.

  “Um, is someone here?” I asked.

  “It’s probably Lisa or Jeff,” Karen said.

  “Oh okay,” I said, as I went back to sleep and Karen threw the duvet over my head just as her sister popped her head in.

  “Hey sis, we’re just popping over to Mums if you –” Lisa started, but stopped when she must have noticed my feet. “Oh, sorry sis, we’re going to Mums, call if you want to come along later,” Lisa added.

  When she closed the door she must have known that we could hear her, “Hey Jeff there’s a guy in there with Karen,” she announced.

  “How did you know it was a guy?” Jeff asked.

  “Most girls don’t have hairy feet,” she replied, which made both Karen and I laugh.

  “Hey big foot, do you want a shower before heading off? I’m gonna pop over to mums,” Karen joked.

  “No, I’m all good. The walk of shame is better without showering anyway,” I laughed.

  “Yeah well, I had a great time last night. It got easier as the night went on,” Karen said, leaning in as we both started making out again.

  “Oh man, I need to head home and get some work done, and you’ll probably need to head in and see Audrey.”

  “No, luckily I’m still on holiday, so I’ll just be at Mums later, if you want to catch up,” Karen asked.

  “Yeah let’s see what happens,” I answered.

  “Sounds good,” Karen replied before getting up and sorting some clothes.

  “You can chill out here for a bit if you like, then after I’m sorted, I can show you the way back to the tube,” Karen said.

  “Yeah, that sounds good.”

  Karen just smiled and headed off to have a shower and get ready.

  “Hey Phil, help yourself to anything in the fridge as well,” Karen said.

  “There might be juice or something in there,” Karen quickly added as she got out of the shower.

  As she was taking a while to get ready, I did help myself to some juice and felt the need to head home for a shower also. Then Karen came in and to see if I was ready to go. We walked for about five minutes to the Shepherd’s Bush tube station on the central line, so I could swap over at Notting Hill to go on the district line back home.

  Karen stopped and turned back to lean in.

  “This is so cool,” Karen whispered.

  Taking her hand from my ear and massaging the back of my neck as she leaned in and we kissed again, but something was a little bit different this time, I had a chance to remember. I remembered how we talked about kissing and thinking we were both losers, thinking we would never meet. I took Karen’s waist and started to really lean into this kiss that had taken so long to happen. As we parted, we both for some reason started to laugh.

  “That was a lot better,” Karen sighed.

  “You’ll never get the ‘wow’ from me though,” Karen added, still smiling at me.

  “Well, I’ll take that as a challenge,” I said, smiling back, we both started kissing again until Karen’s phone started to ring.

  Just before she answered it we parted and went our separate ways.

  “I’ll call once I’ve gotten back from Mums,” Karen declared.

  “Cool, I should be at home, if you want to come over.”

  “Yeah that might work better. I’ll see you later today,” Karen replied before answering her phone – and giving me just enough time to sneak another quick kiss. I could hear her sister as we parted.

  “Are you kissing someone?” I would find out later it was Georgia.

  “Yeah maybe,” Karen said as I turned and headed off towards to the tube.

  I went through the gates and turned around to see if Karen was still there.

  Luckily, she must have known I’d do that, and she smiled and waved back at me.

  6

  Where Life Matters

  “Knowing what we do now about your condition, the chances of this operation working are very slim,” the doctor told us.

  Sitting in the doctor’s office holding on to Karen’s hand, as she rubbed my hand with her thumb I could tell she was worried. She wanted me to be in the room, to find out what she was going through, but I felt lost. Even Hannah was surprised I was doing this. I’d never been this clo
se to cancer. I’d known a lot of people in my world who had. Now I was wishing I’d asked them more questions to prepare myself for this. My phone started to ring as Karen turned and looked at me.

  “Really Phil?” Karen whispered smiling.

  “Sorry doctor, really sorry,” I sighed.

  Checking who it was quickly.

  “It’s Audrey,” I told Karen.

  “Is this doctor a failed comedian?” I quickly asked Karen. Whispering it into her ear so the doctor couldn’t hear me.

  With a stern stare from Karen, I got back to listening to the doctor. I was trying to lose the smile on my face, realising the situation we were in. It was the longest patient–doctor conversation, I’d ever been a part of. Questions were flying all over the place. I didn’t want to ask the one, I wanted to ask. So, I just listened intently as Karen’s hand started to shake. I squeezed a little firmer. She turned and smiled at me, but I noticed her using her other hand to wipe a tear from her cheek. We were there for ages and I didn’t say much or listen at all. I was lost in the fact the doctor said it may be terminal, then lymph nodes, lung cancer, and that was swirling in my mind for ages. It was still there when we left, and it was still there when I sat down on her couch and I closed my eyes for a split second. Lost at the thought of losing this person that had been a part of my life for so long, but only recently came into my world. I really felt at a loss. I only woke up a few hours later laying on the couch with a blanket draped over me.

  “Hey there sleeping beauty, are you okay?” Karen asked.

  “Yeah, I’m okay,” I yawned, standing up.

  Karen walked over and hugged me. I didn’t notice her red eyes initially. We didn’t seem to say too much after that.

  “Hey what are you up to tonight?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure, it’s been a long day and you need to talk to Audrey,” Karen replied.

  “Oh right, did she ring again?” I asked

  “Yeah, while you were sleeping, and Hannah rang,” Karen mentioned.

  I went back and sat down on the couch and grabbed my phone, I noticed that I’d gotten a few messages on my phone and missed quite a few calls. Yet nothing could scare me more than looking up at Karen and telling her, “I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

  “I know,” Karen smiled.

  “So, let’s head back to my place and get something to eat on the way,” I suggested.

  “Yeah sounds good.”

  We rang the taxi and just sat around waiting for it. It seemed like the perfect time to have a little chat about what happened today, but instead we just left and waited outside for the it. We ended up sitting on the bus stop bench, which made me remember that day in the park.

  “Hey have you ever been for a run around Wandsworth park?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but not for a while,” Karen answered. “That’s a pretty random question, why did you ask?” she added.

  “Just something I thought of,” I said.

  “Yeah, last time I was there some kid jumped out in front of me,” Karen remarked.

  “Wow, I think I might have seen that!”

  “Yeah, well it was a long time ago. Is this our taxi?” Karen asked.

  “Yeah, that looks like ours, lets head back to my place.”

  “Yeah, after you,” Karen insisted.

  As I hoped in, I noticed the smile on her face obviously trying to make me feel better. I smiled back just so she knew.

  She jumped in and put her seat belt on and grabbed my hand. “Crazy day today huh,” she said, smiling at me.

  “Yeah, I’ve had worse, but it was a bit crazy,” I mentioned.

  “Bet that nap helped,” Karen joked, still smiling.

  “Yeah sorry about that, I was just closing my eyes for a few seconds and dozed off,” I remarked.

  As we went to leave, I told the cab driver where we wanted to go. It didn’t take us too long. Getting the cabby to drop us off just outside, we walked over to the gate and I put the code in. As we walked through Karen grabbed my hand,

  “Thanks for coming today, I know it must have been tough.”

  “Well, thanks for letting me,” I smiled.

  As we got to the door, I let Karen in and we walked in and grabbed a seat on the couch for a second.

  “Hey, what would you say to us taking a trip?” I asked Karen.

  “Oh, what kind of trip?” Karen asked

  “Let’s just go, jump on a plane and have a look around Europe, maybe a train, I’m not too sure,” I mentioned.

  Smiling, Karen leaned in and gave me a kiss. “Let’s see what I have to do first, then take it from there,” she said. “But, you do need to ring Audrey,” she reminded me.

  “Okay I’ll be back in a second,” I said.

  Getting up I headed off to my room and rang Audrey, “Hey, you’re finally ringing me back! How’s Karen?” Audrey asked.

  “Yeah, she’s worried and doesn’t want to show it,” I said.

  “I bet. Well, tell her Meredith and I are thinking of her.”

  “Yeah will do,” I said. “So, what’s up Audrey?” I added.

  “Well, one, I’ve got another cheque for you. I’ll drop it off tomorrow. And two, we need to talk about this new book,” Audrey remarked.

  “Yeah sounds good, I’ll be here all day tomorrow.”

  “Good, so I’ll see you then. Go out and have a good night,” Audrey remarked.

  “Thanks Audrey,” I replied.

  “No worries Phil, I think it’s amazing what you did today,” Audrey added.

  “Thanks Audrey, I was a bit nervous though and didn’t hear a lot after the terminal comment,” I said, just as Karen knocked on my door.

  “Hey, can I have a quick word with Audrey please?” Karen asked.

  “Yeah sure,” I said walking over to the door and handing Karen my phone.

  Then I returned to my desk and quickly looked over some work. After reorganising a few things and pressing print, I walked back out to the lounge and found Karen sleeping on the couch. With a smile on my face, I picked her up and carried her into my room placing her in my bed. I kissed her on the forehead and went back out to the kitchen to see what we had to eat. Thinking to myself, ‘What a crazy day, I need a beer!’ I grabbed one, walked over to the couch and turned the TV on. It wasn’t until Hannah woke me up, that I remembered Karen was still in my room.

  I walked in, to see her reading some of the work I had printed off.

  “Hey, how’re you feeling?” I asked, giving Karen a bit of a surprise.

  She put the work down and smiled at me, “I’m sorry about that, I was a little bit curious.”

  “That’s okay, what did you think?” I asked.

  “Wow, really good! Is this from your latest book?” Karen asked.

  “Yeah, parts of it.”

  “Well, I really liked it. I saw you were sleeping again and didn’t want to wake you up.”

  “Oh, no worries, Hannah just got home so we should see what she’s up to and maybe head out for a drink or two and something to eat.”

  “Yeah, sounds good,” Karen agreed.

  Putting the pages down and coming up to me in the doorway.

  “How are you?” I asked.

  “I’m not sure I know the answer to that question just yet,” Karen sighed.

  She hugged me again and I leaned in to kiss her.

  “Hey, get a room you two,” Hannah laughed.

  As she walked into the kitchen and put the jug on.

  “Hey, sorry Hannah,” Karen replied as we both walked in after her.

  “Hey, do you want to head out to dinner with us tonight Hannah?” I asked.

  “Yeah, sounds good. Where do you want to go?” Hannah asked.

  “No idea,” I replied back.

  “You can choose Hannah,” Karen said smiling.

  “Yeah, all right, The Boathouse it is,” Hannah decided.

  “Sounds good,” I laughed, taking Karen’s hand and walking over to t
he couch with her and grabbing a seat. I was still feeling the awkwardness of today’s doctors visit.

  “So, I’ve got some tests to take in a couple of days, so this will probably be my last proper meal for a while,” Karen admitted.

  “Yeah, I hope they all go well,” I replied.

  “Well, at least I’ll know,” Karen whispered trying to smile at me, but I could see her eyes starting to fill with tears. She didn’t cry though as she was saved by Hannah calling from the kitchen, “Hey! Do you two want a coffee?”

  “Yeah, I won’t say no,” I replied.

  “Do you have decaf Hannah?” Karen asked.

  Which was okay until Hannah started laughing.

  “Oh, you were serious?” Hannah said, stopping stunned.

  “We might do.” Hannah added, turning around to check the cupboards.

  “Ah ha, we do have some,” Hannah said. Holding up the jar,

  I noticed Devin’s name on it. Luckily, Hannah didn’t initially, but Karen did.

  “Who’s Devin?” Karen asked.

  “Oh, he was an old housemate of mine, but he moved back to New Zealand a couple of months ago,” I said.

  “We dated for a little while as well,” Hannah added.

  “That’s how Hannah and I met,” I explained.

  “So, he’s to blame,” Karen joked.

  Which made both Hannah and I laugh.

  Hannah finally brought in the coffees and grabbed the seat next to us.

  “So, how’s the new book coming along Phil?” Hannah asked.

  “I’ve read some of it Hannah, and it looks really good,” Karen remarked.

  Hannah just smiled at me and, unfortunately, I knew exactly what she was thinking.

  “That’s awesome, I can’t wait to read it myself,” Hannah said.

  “So, let’s finish these coffees and head down to The Boathouse,” I insisted.

  Changing the subject like a pro.

  “Nice try douchebag, but what’s it like Karen?” Hannah asked.

  “I’m not sure I’m allowed to say sorry Hannah,” Karen said.

  As she sees me looking at the floor and shaking my head.

  “Ha, thanks. So, let’s head down to The Boathouse,” I said.

  “This should keep me going for a while,” I added, taking the empty coffee cups back into the kitchen.

  “Yeah, sounds good,” Hannah said.